Bookshelf for a heart

Sun and Moon

 "Here we see the sun, there we see the moon.

It's lovely, and somehow I find us funny,

how our eyes meet, then our hearts move.

Gloomy days, now, to sunny.

Is it true when they say we all have a long year ahead of us?

how do they explain how short of a time we feel,

about the last time we last laid eyes?

Time flies, but look at the years pass.

Feelings... Explain to me how do they say it will not hurt us?

Because what I feel right now is strong and deep.

Sounds dangerous, it sounds like I need help fast."

- MK George 1922 July

Conversion

The capacity to learn is a gift,

the ability to learn is a skill,

the willingness to learn is a choice.

Received many congratulations from my friends the moment I reached work this morning. I want to feel happy and smiling, but I was just filled with confusion and disappointment inside me. I kept trying to look at the positive side of things, yet I still wonder about the doubt I was asked, “Are you sure you want to become a TL?”. Honestly, I’m not even sure what lies in the path ahead of me at all, whether the cash I hold in my wallet is enough until the day comes, or not. Whenever there’s an offer, I’m willing to take it, and from there I’ll learn as I go with it, which I am sure as hell about.

I had a conversation with my supervisor a few days ago. I was offered a promotion to a different position and that enables me to help carry out duties with my current team leader as it seemed to be a little overwhelming for her. On one particular day, she decided to give me a call and ask me questions that are out of context. I mean, I understand you want me to do what you do, and feel what you feel. Don’t be open and teach the language that it is ok to bring work home. It may be alright for you, but not for everyone else. I continuously tell myself that I have to remember to breathe, take things slow and try my best to pick up and learn this new experience.

I should play the song One Step At A Time by Jordin Sparks for this post 😄

Went back to Marsiling home yesterday, supposedly to pack other things, but my sister had to rest and came a little late so we didn’t get to pack anything. Every time I drop by any home, everyone is on another chapter, a new phase. My sister with her new challenges. Sya with her new path. My mother and her boyfriend, and also caring for my grandmother. My mum, dad and brother onwards on their new journey to a new abode, a new house. My other brother is also in line to their home sweet home and focusing more on the growth of their 2 minions. My other sister... I can’t imagine yet what it is, but she’d gone through hard times and is now on the same level of excitement for our parent’s new home sweet home that’s coming soon. My younger sister… still in college, under the care of her dad, I miss them and don’t like how it’s a little hard for us to set a date to meet. It’ll always be an impromptu one usually.

There will always be this one random moment, where I can only imagine… nenek strolling down by Gardens by the Bay, with all my mum, aunties and uncles, cousins. Just that moment when she can stop worrying about the time entirely. Everyone is going through something, I wish I can have all the time to sit and listen to all of my dad’s preaches and rare collectables. Remember during our school days, the only time we had papa to ourselves is only on the Sunday of the week? We would only visit the library, swim or watch a movie, or just do something. Saturdays would be his half days... Now that he’s always available at home, we can’t bring him to play with us at the playground at the void deck 😄 I want to be there for my mothers, I want to be there for my grandmother, I want to be there for my fathers, I want to be there for my sisters, brothers and cousins. It’s a large picture to paint, but I’ll be there when time allows us.

OMG, why am I emotional? Is it because of this Jordin Spark’s song or what sia… My main post was about how pissed I was at work only, but type in a nicer way la right…  ok la, goodnight. ❤️

Packing day at Mars

Saying goodbye to level 7 soon because momsie, dadsie and brother are moving to their new unit soon 💕 So today, me and sis start some packing. Alhamdulillah.

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These pictures means a whole lot. From the day we got locked out of the house and had to sleep on the cold stairs. Not going to school but meet up to go karaoke at CC days. Boy issues by the blk days. The level 2 chillax moments. The kittens we used to see often behind the level 1 left, near the drain. The night we had to hide behind the bushes to hide from my brother? like what sia was I thinking? 😂 Kalau kurus takpe jugak kan, da la gemok, lagi nak hide blakang bush. The BTO which me and hubby choose but didn’t get because of race quota.

Marsiling… specifically… the blk… THE blk… those days… chimp-pan-zee days… kat playground pun kita kanak-kanak primary school boleh gaduh-gaduh… ish-ish… wait msn days? alif? hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha gatal. Omg, do homework bawa blk with sot ximaito. hahahahahahahahadjhhahahdljahsdlhjsbljhbdlj. I’m laughing so hard in my heart, my veins would burst right now. Da la! goodnight. #homesweethome

Their exam period

Today is the 3rd day of their exam period. They did so many revisions and challenges in preparation for their exam. Yesterday was their Mathematic paper. When they reached home, I asked them to share their thoughts and experience they had when they sat for the paper. I interviewed my son first. "How was your exam paper?" I asked. He sat on the sofa, with his uniform still on and replied, "Oh it's very easy. I confirm get all correct."  (-_-) I went on to ask which question did he find was the easiest and most difficult. "Oh there's no difficult question, I just do." Confidence level: Infinite. Haha. Then I went on to ask which question he finds requires more thinking and what other types of questions he could remember to share with. He also said that he triple-checked, not double, but triple. Following that, he continued talking for the next hour about his adventures in school. Then, I called my daughter to the living room to ask how her experience with the Mathematics paper was and she also shared that it was easy but she had some difficulty with the last few questions of booklet B. Her most straightforward question was symmetrical shading, and she remembered simplifying any fraction to the lowest.

We are all already curious to see how they did on the papers, and can't wait to go through them together. Today is their Mother Tongue paper, and lastly will be their Science paper, good luck, all the best, and Insya Allah both of you will do well with flying colours.

No matter what the scores are going to be, it does not define who you are or the value of your knowledge. It will only be a reminder to continue and practice to be better than the previous. Mama and Abah will love you no matter what grade, and only want you to be happy and proud of the things you achieve.

A whole day with Mum, Dad and babies

A fulfilling day today. It's the Children's Day holiday, and it's also my off day. Then my parents want to bring us out, to get the kids' presents. Qasya got his replacement of school shoes, and then I brought him to have his hair cut before meeting the grandparents in the later afternoon. Dad parked his motorbike at Yew Tee, and then we travelled to Vivo by train, yup, train. with the parents.

Went to Sketchers to replace Qasya's sandals, and he got his favourite Minecraft shoes too. So he bought a total of 3 shoes in one day. Then we head to toys r us for toys. Qasya discovered a new arrival for Marvel's Lego set, and Fina found her collection pieces from Mini Brand's collection!! Ended the day with the usual doughnuts, and some Baskin-Robins, and met with my uncle who then send us all home after some ala carte seafood at Pasir Panjang Food Centre.

Happy Belated to my girl and boy again, and happy Children's Day!

Fiction Waters

There was an event by the waters. It looked like it was near a wide open sea, a beautiful sight at night, under the dark blue sky. People were seen standing on metal structures to get a better view of the performance. I was heading to the restroom after the whole hype, I can also hear the crowd's voices starting to fade when a girl was staring at me to get my attention. She looked like the person who is managing the event's lighting or sound system because of all the wires she had from her head to her waist. I approached her as she took out her phone from her back pocket and then showed me a picture of a familiar guy with a tattoo on his neck. It was him. Never supposed to exist. The girl feel the same fury in her as I had in me, she saw how mad and angry I was as I held the phone, scanning through the crowds knowing he is somewhere near, at the beach party. I wasn't sure why she did what she did, but I continue to wonder, how she knew him, until the end of that scene.

- For those who are wondering, it's coming from the dream I had last night though. Haha.