Surviving FT Working Stay At Home Mum

Yes, transiting to a full-time stay at home mum. Not that I wasn't a stay at home mum back then, I was. I'd spend money on things like Grab (food or transportation), buying ingredients for my small beverage business and other sort of every day essentials at home. When I juggle being a stay at home mum, spending money and saving money I realized at some point, I became worried.

Since I would be staying home and doing the mother/wife duties. I might as well go for 'drop-ship'. I started to search on online engines about available drop-shipping vacancies and join a team. That particular team was focusing on beauty products, then I decided to join 2-3 other teams. By then, I become a reseller of foods, beauty products, halal supplements and Islamic learning tools.

I may not have 100 sales per day, I may not earn 50% of commission after a sale, I may not profit $1000 a month and that's all okay. I aim to provide these customers an ease, a satisfaction most importantly, leave them a great impression and expression during their sales with me.

Staying home & earn commissions sounds great to you, but also it requires sacrifices. In fact, all work requires any kind of scarification, be it your time, your money, your efforts even your phone battery(in my case). Occasionally, we're required to 'spam' posts and add more 'friends' so that people are aware of what we're selling and from there you need to hook viewers' attention during the time spent scrolling on their phones.

Tip #1: I sacrificed some subscription to automatically posts today, tomorrow and into the future. Which saves me some time in case I may be attending family-related events, who knows right?

Then I take some time to adjusts the comments section, make it more "me" than to just copy-pasting raw material. After I've earned some profit or have extra cash flow with me, I began to buy the products myself. I tried them on personally and give my own thoughts, and from there I get my own ideas to draw people to the product that I'm actually using.

Tip #2: I'd be honest in my posts, and tell my friends and family that I legitimately, bought and tried the product for myself.

At the same time, that leveled up my confidence to a step higher, because I learned and understood the product even more and in time, it felt like I'm selling 'my' own product. Build a bond with what you're selling.

We're all not perfect, I'm not perfect, I have my great days and lazy days, busy days and special days. With all these days, the leaders of the teams will keep pushing you to promote despite you busy days! Posting and promoting about 100 products can consume the time equivalent to a whole 2 days! Once, I didn't sleep during those days, was so engrossed and focused on making the accounts neat and tidy for the visitors to see. But what's done is done.

Tip #3: Make a schedule and reminder. Doesn't need to be a physical one, try to remind yourself. Post a few in the morning, post another in the mid day and another in the night and the rest of the day is a breeze. Set a schedule of what you have to do at home. Let yourself be the boss of you, not the virtual selling.

Make time to cook, attend to the children, do the house chores, most importantly not to forget your meals, don't need to be a big meal, a meal just so you don't starve yourself from being a busy bee. Also, make time to take short naps, to refresh you mind and eyes.

Tip #4: Family matters, the golden rule above all, family matters.

From these hustle, I was able to enroll Basic Food & Hygiene Course, to benefit my sole beverage business. Which from what I remembered, I do have some customers from the opposite side of Singapore from where I am, and I'm planning to expand my area of business, keen to join me? Find me! 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖 

New Skin, New Feel

"What? Blogger? In 2020?" 😁 I mean, why not right? Above were photos of us taken earlier yesterday. Our daily weekday routine, fetch them from school, rush house chores, checking their school books, going through our daily lessons at home, breaking down their daily spending in school on paper, and think about what to cook today, later, tonight and tomorrow morning.

Now they're practicing to pack food from home for their recess and more fresh fruits and grains for their snack time in school. I'm a proud mum to witness all the skills they acquire at their present age now. Recently, my daughter learnt to cook rice 😊, for real. That is how much I could depend on her at home and in character, apart from the usual dish washing, laundry folding and cleaning of her own room. My baby girl whom I used to talk to while rubbing my belly round and round in the long warm shower in the past, when I was unsure she is even living, is now my 8 year old feisty little girl.

My son, has grown pretty fast too. I'm now quite sure how to describe it, but I know when I see changes and development in himself. He may not grasp physical things as fast as his sister, but he catches quickly on other details. Like the way he talks, and shows his interest in his friends, future and studies. While I was hanging the laundry a few days ago, he came into the laundry area and sat on the wooden bench beside me. He was practicing to tie the rope on his pants, which I taught him a moment before. When he finally, somehow tied it, he cheered but said it was messy. "It's okay, you only need to practice more, not just today but any other days too." I said. Then he replied, "Yes, because the more you practice, the more you understand.. And then the more you understand, the more you know, and then the more you know the better you will be." I paused and stared into another dimension's galaxy. Haha, and those words came from my 7 year old clumsy, blur, sleepy and a cry-baby son. He is also very talented in drawing pictures of vehicles. My stack of A4 papers that I place under our study table, can vanish in 1 week without my supervision, he'll continue drawing and drawing, about sport cars, his first day at school, even a map showing the journey to school with the little details like how the bus turns and the traffic lights we will pass and so on. But one thing that he hasn't change about himself, is being a whiny boy who cries and talks while complaining all at the same time, about what? About fairness, and his sister. Always, fighting. Even when watching television, I feel like breaking everything in the house in half for each of them 😂.

Time will always be precious when I'm with you my dear kids. Don't be sad when I'm angry at you, know that I'll end up laughing when I turn around trying to stay mad at you. I love you my Fina and Qasya 💓

Fear or Crazy

As I sit here, thinking and typing, there were uncountable times where I find myself in an uncontrollable situation with my children. Many parents may have different ways to discipline their child, to get something out from them. I kept telling myself to ignore those minor mistakes or mischief the kids had done. Furthermore, they were just kids. The next minute, I see myself doing something that I didn't want to do, fearful of, terribly.

I know how much it hurts to be hurt like them, like that, because it happened to me and I don't want to be that person, that person whom I used to be afraid of, where my life was in his hands and he was just toying around with it.

Today, it happened. As tears rolled down her soft baby cheek, my heart ached sooo much inside, I could even feel how frightened she was from her pulled-back-trying-to-be-strong voice when she answered my interrogation about the remote control she'd lost because she doesn't want her brother to watch another cartoon series. No one would know, how I'd wish to pause the time and walk slowly towards her to wipe away her tears. People only think that I am that fierce and straight up mom. I hated myself for what I had done to her, which I never thought I would do it again, sometimes I'm just scared of myself. I would ask myself "will I turn into him?" I am badly, begging, anyone to pull me away if by any chance I would turn out like their dad. :'( She went to bed after she'd found her lost remote, heartbroken. "I know how you feel dear.. I really do.."

I went into her room as quickly as possible after I'd settled the things in the living room. I hugged her so tight as she lay on her bed covering her face with her gigantic blue Stitch, and asked her if it was painful and where was she hurting. "Yes, I know it's painful, and you're scared. Papa used to do that to me too, and I love you. If that didn't happen, you would've given up in searching for the remote which you'd hidden. I'm sorry."

A few years back, while I was still going through depression, anxiety, and panic attacks, it was worse than this. I would stop whatever I was doing halfway, and lock myself in my own room for a few hours till I'm calmed down so that I do not hurt them further. I really don't want to go through all that again.

Circumstances lead me to these situations to deal with, frankly I'm emotionally exhausted. I kept telling myself to look at the brighter side and most important parts of my life. Nothing can ever replace my now family. I would also like to thank my not so faithful husband for sticking around, being my pillar of strength when I was at my lowest, when I thought that it would all be better to end my life. I'm thankful for the little moments, happiness you bring us. Tried your hardest to stay strong and go on, even though it's not easy to suddenly become a father of 2. I'm thankful for the shelter we've roofed over ourselves together, the hurdles we had to go through, what you made me went through.

My biggest weakness is my fear. Fear to be like my mother, fear to be like their dad, fear to be selfish and selfless.

I love you, my little family.