i wuv wiu hash burn

My husband is supportive of everything I do, he even joined the search for a job online with me and hopefully, I've applied to a brighter door :> you know? the door quote? when 1 door closes, the other opens? maybe I can use that quote here :>

The work again :/

I don't have any good content to compose today. I just feel a little lost, decided to spit my weird problems out here, for no one to see or by any chance, anyone to stumble upon this boring post about me complaing about my bad day.

I started a job at a supermarket sometime in late last year, September 2021? I remembered enjoying the job. Wait, not enjoying in the form of having fun, but more like comfortable with the newly found job. It's nearby, it's straight-forward. Based on the logistic experiences I had in the past, it helped me to adapt well at this supermarket. The only thing that was new to me was the working on weekends, and 6 days a week, and also have to learn the cashiering duties, which I made effort for which now I'm doing fine with it.

When I applied for the job, I was appointed under the 'grocery department', where my main responsibilities are more to the logistics side.

After some time, months had passed and I realised I had to do more than what I started with. The stocks keep piling in, I had to cover the different sections in the store and also do the cashiering and handling of new stocks, the things were all heavy and crazy. I felt like I was being kicked around. Cashiering and Logistics are two different positions.

At the end of the day, now, I am not looking forward to going back there to do crap anymore. It was a comfortable place, until one by one, my colleagues start to send in their resignation, and everything ends up with me covering different roles.

I thought maybe I am the one finding faults about the job I applied for, but whenever I tried to think of the positivity and y'know, just brush my emotions away and go to work as per normal, continuously telling myself it's going to be a 'new great day', then I started to get sick to my stomach. Feeling nauseous, having diarrhoea so I had to see the doctor, and I thought that was the 'sick' phase I had to go through and be done with after I'm well, but nope, the following week that sickness came back to me, I know it had got nothing to do with what I ate because I barely ate anything much at all. My appetite had changed, my moods are weird, I avoid and block anything related to my family, I just disconnect. That is how I feel. I tell myself maybe I'm being lazy, I should just go to work, and go outside, like a normal day, but I just can't. It sounds simple and easy to just brush it off and go. 

After taking a step back, I think it all relates to me, my mind and my body. It tires me, the work activities and after work I also have responsibilities, and on top of that the other issues to worry about.

So I think, all the thinking, worrying, trying...really isn't making me cope well with my mental health. After all the distractions I did to make myself better, like playing games, listening to music, dancing, karaoke, cleaning the house like there's no tomorrow, watching a movie, it didn't help me. I even tried sharing my feelings with the people I care about, but I don't really think they really really understand how I feel.

I've planned to resign from my current job and send out my application to another one which I called earlier today. Hopefully, the decision I've made lifts the weight off my shoulders a little. Insya'Allah.

Started plant frenzy

I'm impressed with how it turned out after comparing before and after photos side by side. Anyway, today I visited a petrol kiosk for the 2nd time, and they have all of my favourites plants!! I'll shared more photos of the other plants soon, but here is one beautiful Goeppertia Iancifolia which is also known as Rattlesnake Plant (SGD$7.90) 🌱

Bicycle and badminton afternoon

I wanted to go anywhere, somewhere today, but remembered I got a video interview at 5pm. So I decided we should just play outside of our house today. Brought along my dad's badminton 🏸 and Fina's bicycle.

The kids are playing with bubbles now.

My dose of Covid-19 vaccine

So I'm under observation, just got the 1st dose of Covid-19 vaccine. 😭 and I hate ALL injections. I was so tensed that the officer had to ask if I'm afraid of needles cos I was breathing in and out so fast haha. I tried so hard to avoid looking at the needle, but then she showed me, literally. Thank God she was gentle, polite and calm in throughout the procedure. 💉

One more dose to go!

Today is Fina's first trial entry

 

"Hello? Hi? What should we say? How do we start?" Nope, I'm just asking my daughter on how would she start this post. I'll leave this entry to her. Now, it's 02:59am, Qasya is asleep on the couch, husband went out with his friends to.... somewhere, anywhere. I've searched online and prepared some questions for her to kickstart this random post today.

____________________________________________________________________

1. Three things I love about myself:
   I love to go out with my family and my very best friends.
   i like to go out and play with my little brother and my baby cousin.
   i love my whole family and everyone!
   
   
2. I feel scared when...
   i feel scared when fire ants BITE MEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
   
   
3. Who is my favorite superhero?
   flash,wonder women,ravin
4. The happiest day of my life was...
   going to the beach with aayden's family.
   
   
   
5.  My favourite animal is..
   cats   

Self-care Check-in

1.  3 meals is impossible for me
2. I am on for more than days off the social media
3. No.. meditate. Netflix?
4. I got no candle, can I just turn on my flashlight?
5. Gratitude list? Why not? I do it in my brain every night.
6. DEEP BREATHING? I think I do that on the daily.
7. Checked.
8. Is walking to the living room an exercise?
9. What friend?
10. No visiting. Covid-19 precaution.
11. Yes! We played badminton a few days back.
12. Pamper sesh? Gaming!
13. Everyday with my cats!
14. Something new...... Investment!
15. Yup, reading up on the investment book!