18 June 2017

Iftar with boyfriend's friends and lots of food. Then we head for Durian Fest ❤️

Honey Cornflakes

Today I want to write about Cornflakes, Honey Cornflakes. Up till now, many had already known how much I look forward to the special days of Hari Raya, and to get my fingers on one particular kind of Honey Cornflakes. I kept asking myself, why Honey Cornflakes? People kept saying it's too sweet and it's just cornflakes.

I've made mine independently 2 years back and still counting. P.S: I just had one few minutes ago. So while I was eating the ones I've made for this year, I was thinking about many things. #1. Never forget the day me and and my older sister made honey cornflakes together while we were fasting. The moment I heard the azan, I ate those Honey Cornflakes from the pot we were putting into mini cups, like it was rice. Then my sister asked, "ARE YOU NOT FASTING?" but of course, in Malay. Then I paused, asked her to listen to the radio, and she joined me to eat those Honey Cornflakes like rice. #2. My mother made some deliveries of Honey Cornflakes to some of her friends or cousin, I wasn't so sure, and can you imagine how happy I was being surrounded by tubs of cornflakes all around me in the van. I can actually remember that it was at Tekka somehow. What's important was, I had my own tub of portable Honey Cornflakes, made specially for me. I guess my mother was just worried that I would end up eating her customer's orders. #3. I remembered, to always have some tubs of cornflakes with me when I returned to my mum's place, from my dad's. The one that made all the cooking and baking is usually my step-mother, and the tiniest memories I had with my step-sister was the greatest. #4. During my selfish times with my ex-husband, I was in no contact from my family, or step or any other. We either had misunderstandings or just don't talk at all. I was pregnant, and was craving for my Honey Cornflakes. But during that time, I guess, it wasn't the food that I was craving for, it was that time, that memory with my dad, sister which I was craving for most. I wished time would turn back, but knowing that it was reality, time will only pass, and it won't stop until it resets to 00:00 each day.

Now that I've gotten an oven from somewhere. I can feel each memory from each bite of Honey Cornflakes, and take myself back in time to 10 or more years back. It's not just about biting and chewing and swallowing and complaining about the stickiness of the honey, but what makes it perfect is the moment when the food is in your mouth and on your tongue, you need to stop and breathe the honey, sugar, butter, and oven all in one. For this year, my cornflakes had tiny heart sprinkles, because right now, things are getting more lovely with each day being spent with my pillars of strength.

Fasting month

Finally I've finished preparing my materials for Monday. It's the fasting month and my time gets busier each day. Working full day a.m. to p.m. and having classes on alternate days, an addition to that, 'portfolio time'. June holidays for you guys, but it's brainstorm-days for me.

I am looking forward to the moment I can turnover from working full to part-time. You see, my mind never stop thinking and talking on the inside, it never shut up even for a split second. I kept thinking about the days I spend with strangers' children more than my own children, and when the weekend comes, I can only look at my children during their sleep thinking how fast they'd grown smarter and taller though still small in size. From when they have those chubby-bunny cheeks and tiny-mini lips to scars on their faces and making choices of their own.

I wished to spend the day with them and when they need me. I feel like I hadn't given them much attention at all, because by the time we got home to be able to (not do anything) rest, it would be the time for us to sleep.

Things are better now, but I wouldn't say the best yet where we could all lay on the couch with a bowl of cereal watching Netflix till the a.m., there are minor complications from the past still lingering around my forehead, I've put some work to it and I can only wait for replies from the respective agencies. At times I even forgot about what I've been through at all, hahaha. What matters is, I have to look forward, not for me, but for my children, and us <3

A post to start with

Frankly, I'd just finished reading the flashbacks from my old stupid and dumb blog. I had a hard time reading and trying to understand what was I even typing at that point on #tb time. My goodness, with all those zxs and zzz and xiaa and seyhh omg damn man *slap on my forehead*.

How are things so far you say? Well as of now, I'm trying to sleep. 🙄🙄🙄 Goodnight miha.